Change Your Life in 2020 by Changing Your Self-Talk
Written by Melissa Kessler, MA, PCC
Our brains are like computers, storing and acting on the programs that we have received since birth. Unfortunately, about 77% of these programs are negative. According to Shad Helmstetter, PhD, author of What to Say When You Talk to Yourself and Negative Self-Talk & How to Change It, if we grew up in relatively positive environments, most of us have been given approximately 148,000 negative messages during the first 18 years of our lives. Our brains act on the strongest programs – those that were repeated over and over, either by others or by what we say to ourselves. Many of those programs are still with us today because we keep reinforcing negative beliefs through our own self-talk. Our thoughts and beliefs drive our feelings, which drive our actions, which ultimately determine the results we get. If you’re not happy with what you have in your life, then it’s time to change your self-talk and your programming. Negative self-talk is a habit that can be changed.
Most of us are negative by nature. It’s a built-in survival mechanism to be on the lookout for negative threats before focusing on the positive. In addition, most of us are paid to solve problems, that’s why the organizations we work in exist. So our focus tends to be on what’s wrong rather than what’s right. Therefore, we have to exert some energy and effort to change our negative self-talk, but it can be done. Below are some ways to do it. The books mentioned above give very detailed instructions for each of these methods.
1) Start paying attention to what you say to yourself. Whenever you notice a negative thought, change it to a positive one. It doesn’t matter if you really believe it or not. The part of your brain that stores the message does not evaluate it. It just stores it and acts on it. Repetition is key. For example, if you tell yourself, “I’m always late for everything.” Change it to, “I always have enough time to get where I want to go, and I always get there on time.”
2) Start off each day with a positive conversation with yourself. While you are in the shower, you can speak to yourself and answer yourself about the type of day you would like to have. For example, I could say, “Melissa, you are going to have a great day today.” I could respond by saying, “Yes, today I am going to have a great day. I am prepared for my client meetings, and I am excited to have these conversations. And I know I’m going to have great results.” And I could continue from there.
3) Start off each day by listening to positive messages recorded in your own voice that you want to program in your brain. Whether you want to change your beliefs about certain relationships, achieving certain goals, losing weight, managing stress, etc. You can record new beliefs that you would like to have that would yield different actions and better results.
4) Start off each day by listening to positive recorded messages that Shad Helmstetter has developed with proven results in his Self Talk Plus programs. These programs include financial success, health & fitness, weight loss, relationships, career advancement, restful sleep, stop smoking, and more. I have been listening to two of these programs for a couple of weeks now, and I’m already starting to see results. I like this method because it’s easy. I just listen to it in the morning while I am getting ready. It only takes 10-15 minutes each day to get results, but I usually listen for about 30 minutes or more each day.
I’m sharing this with you because I am living proof that it works. I have used positive self-talk for many years to achieve success and completely transform my life as of 2014. I have reached nearly every goal that I ever set for myself through deliberate positive self-talk, visioning, and being in a positive emotional state as much as possible. May you make 2020 your best year yet by changing your self-talk, which will change your actions, and ultimately the results you get in life.
“Your self-talk, right now, is a replay of the programs you have that are the strongest.” – Shad Helmstetter, PhD
“It is because the brain stores – and wires in – repeated messages, that you end up believing things about you that you tell yourself most often.” – Shad Helmstetter, PhD
“Because of its neuroplasticity, your brain is designed to continually rewire itself throughout your lifetime.” – Shad Helmstetter, PhD
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