Holding Tough Conversations – Part 4
Last month’s newsletter focused on Step 3 for holding tough conversations, which involves preparing and writing down what you will actually say during this conversation.
Step 4 involves getting grounded before holding the conversation once you have scheduled/selected a time to have it. This is one of the most important steps in the process because how we show up to others has a big impact on how they will respond to us and ultimately the results we will get. There are a few ways you can ground yourself a few minutes beforehand so you have a calm and centered presence going into the dialogue:
- Use square breathing which involves breathing in for four counts, holding it for four counts, breathing out for four counts, holding it for four counts and repeating this for a couple of minutes. This lowers your heart rate and offsets the stress response related to anxiety.
- Use positive affirmations such as “I choose to easily and confidently handle anything that comes my way” or “I choose to remain centered and balanced regardless of how others respond to me.” Having negative self-talk only serves to increase your anxiety. We also tend to bring to ourselves what we expect to get, so expect positive results to increase your chances of a positive outcome.
- Visualize a positive outcome. See yourself having a successful conversation that results in a positive conclusion for you and the other person and strengthens your relationship. This is another way to help you feel more relaxed and centered.
Stayed tuned for the November newsletter which will provide the final step for holding effective difficult conversations.
“When adversity strikes, that’s when you have to be the most calm. Take a step back, stay strong, stay grounded and press on.” – LL Cool J
“Presence is more than just being there.” – Malcolm Forbes