Are you likeable? Why likeability matters and is critical for success.

Evoke Potential, LLC Newsletter – Vol: 1 – July 2012

Are you likeable? Why likeability matters and is critical for success.

Source: Tim Sanders – The Likeability Factor

In today’s work environment, the most critical element for individual success is not technical competence or intelligence, it’s the ability to establish and utilize a network of relationships. We can no longer work independently and depend upon ourselves alone. We must work with and through others to create superior products, services and solutions. In order to develop and cultivate these relationships, people must be willing to work with us – we must be considered “likeable” to others.

“Likeable people win life’s popularity contests. The choices you make don’t shape your life as much as the choices other people make about you. Much of your life is spent trying to get other people to pick you, whether for a job, a relationship, a friendship, or to win a contest. Have you been doing everything you can to influence other people’s choices about you?”

  • Likeable people bring out the best in others.
  • Likeable people get recognized.
  • Likeable people outperform.
  • Likeable people overcome life’s challenges.
  • Likeable people enjoy better health.

The Four Elements of Likeability (in order of sequence):

  1. Friendliness – your ability to communicate liking and openness to others. The most fundamental element of likeability; if you are not friendly, you will have to work much harder to be likeable. Friendliness creates a positive emotional experience and a positive physical reaction. Whereas unfriendliness increases levels of cortisol prompting the symptoms of stress. When you are friendly, others want to be with you and they want you to succeed.
  2. Relevance – your capacity to connect with others’ interests, wants, and needs. Someone must also be relevant to your life if your relationship is to pass through the next stoplight. Relevance is strongest when a personal value proposition that you offer connects with another person’s wants and needs.
  3. Empathy – your ability to recognize, acknowledge, and experience other people’s feelings. Once you’ve decided that another person is friendly and relevant, you begin to wonder, consciously or unconsciously, if that person understands you. If you are empathetic to others, you are not merely feeling sorry for them, but are projecting yourself into their hearts, as though you are sensing what it’s like to be in their shoes.
  4. Realness – the integrity that stands behind your likeability and guarantees its authenticity. You can’t have a high Likeability-factor unless you possess realness – it’s the final stoplight. A real person is genuine, true and authentic. Realness is something you feel when you are in its presence. Your friendliness, combined with your empathy and relevance will make you a likeable person, but it’s your ability to be real that will make you absolutely shine.

“I look for three things in hiring people. The first is personal integrity, the second is intelligence, and the third is a high energy level. But, if you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you.”
-Warren Buffet

“The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you.”
– Anita Roddick, Founder and CEO, The Body Shop

According to a study done by the Manchester Group, organizational benefits from coaching

  • Improved Relationships 77%
  • Improved Teamwork 67%
  • Improved Job Satisfaction 61%
  • Improved Productivity 53%
  • Improved Quality 48%

Evoke Potential, LLC can help you increase your likeability and the likeability of your organization’s leaders.

Send an email to or call 586-295-3421 for a FREE coaching session.

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