Whose Business Are You In?

Written by Melissa Kessler, MA, PCC

Are you someone who takes on too much and tries to solve other people’s problems? Do you feel responsible for your employees, friends or family members, wanting to save them from mistakes, failure, heartache, pain, and suffering? This is common for many people. However, this can be very emotionally draining and take a huge toll on your energy.

As a coach with many clients who all have different challenges, I could easily fall into the trap of feeling responsible for “saving” them. However, that would disempower them and completely deplete me. Everyone is responsible for their own life choices and the resulting consequences. My job as a coach is to empower them to solve their own challenges by helping them think through their options, so they can make the best choice for themselves. My last newsletter talks about how to do this. Here is the link to that newsletter: You Can Change Other People.

Byron Katie has a great question to help us stay focused on ourselves, our responsibilities, and our choices instead of other people’s. That question is, “Whose business am I in?” There are only three options: mine, yours, and God’s. For example, if an earthquake happens, it’s God’s business. If your neighbor has an ugly lawn, it’s your neighbor’s business. If you are angry about your neighbor’s ugly lawn, that’s your business. How much time and energy do you spend in someone else’s business? What is the impact of doing that? For me, it just leads to frustration, stress, and misery. What would be a better use of your time and energy? For me, it would be better spent focusing on myself and my own responsibilities, challenges, and choices.

I hope that we are all better able to stay in our own business and give ourselves and others a little more grace during the upcoming holidays and throughout the new year. I think we could all use a little less judgment and little more compassion.

Don’t believe everything you think.” – Byron Katie

“The way to truly help someone is for me to not get immersed in their suffering.” – Byron Katie

Related posts

Relief from Burnout

Written by Melissa Kessler, MA, PCC It’s been over a year since the pandemic...

The Power of Presence

Written by Melissa Kessler, MA, PCC Presence or paying attention is essential to high...

What is Essential?

Written by Melissa Kessler, MA, PCC We have been forced to live very differently...

Gratitude for 2017

Another year has flown by! For many, 2017 has been a difficult year. For...

Honoring Heroes

In honor of Memorial Day, this newsletter is dedicated to all of the men...

Why We Resist Change

Recently, I’ve conducted a couple of workshops on managing change and transitions based upon...

Gratitude for 2015

It’s hard to believe that another year has gone by. Last year at this...

Honoring a Master…

I wanted to take the opportunity to honor Dr. Wayne Dyer in this newsletter....

Words Are Gifts…

Last week, the Winning Futures mentor program at Warren Mott High School concluded for...
Top

Coaching Readiness Assessment

Try our FREE Online Coaching Readiness Assessment to evaluate your readiness for leadership coaching.

Start Now
Phone Services Contact