Most of us have a habitual “go-to” response when dealing with conflict. This knee-jerk reaction may work sometimes, but not in every situation. That’s because no single approach works for all conflicts. However, there is a best approach for every different circumstance. Different situations call for different methods. So how do you know which method to use?
My conflict management course teaches the 5 different modes of dealing with conflict according to the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument™ (TKI):
Many people view conflict as negative, involving an emotional battle. This does not have to be the case. A conflict simply means that my needs or concerns differ from yours. When this happens, I must decide the best way to handle this based on 5 key factors:
Many people believe that collaborating is always the best option to use because it creates a win-win. However, you can see from the factors above, it’s best in some situations, but not all. Because collaborating requires time, effort and creativity energy, the outcome must be important enough or large enough to merit the amount of work involved. No single conflict mode is best for all situations; nor is one conflict mode better or worse than the others. It depends on the situation. Hopefully by asking yourself these questions about the factors involved, you will consciously choose the best approach for different conflict situations rather than using your “go-to” response in all conflicts out of habit.
If you would like more information about how to use the 5 conflict modes effectively or my training course, or if you would like to take the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument™ (TKI) to understand your conflict style and order of preference in using the 5 different conflict modes, please contact me at [email protected].
“Conflict is neither good nor bad. Properly managed, it is absolutely vital.” – Kenneth Kaye
“If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.” – Cheryl Richardson
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Downers Grove, IL 60515, US