Research has shown that emotional intelligence (managing yourself) is twice as important as cognitive ability (IQ) or technical skills to success in life and work. You can be the smartest kid in college, but if you can’t get out of bed and make it to class to take the test, it doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, most traditional educational systems in the U.S. don’t teach kids how to manage their emotions, have empathy for others, or deal with conflict effectively. So kids must rely on their parents to learn these critical skills.
According to emotional intelligence expert Daniel Goleman, the two most important indicators of how successful kids will be in college are independence and impulse control. Can they stand on their own away from home without mom and dad there to assist? Can they resist the impulse to party and study for the exam instead?
Here are some tips to help your kids develop independence early on:
Here are some tips to help your kids manage impulses early on:
These tips may seem obvious, but it’s hard for many parents to let go. Parents often think they are doing their kids a favor by doing things for them or protecting them in some cases. When in reality, they aren’t giving their kids the opportunity to develop independence, impulse control, and ultimately self-esteem. Give your kids the gift of self-confidence by allowing them (or making them) do things for themselves. There’s nothing like the feeling of knowing that you did something all on your own. This is what will prepare them for success in college and life beyond.
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” – Daniel Goleman
“In a high-IQ job pool, soft skills like discipline, drive and empathy mark those who emerge as outstanding.” – Daniel Goleman
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